Peugeot and Citroën go head to head to find silliest van name

Citroën and Peugeot both announced the launch of compact vans. In fact if you look closely they appear to have launched the same van under 2 identities. The Citroën van is the Nemo, which means “no one” in Latin. Whether the intention was association with a character from Jules Verne or Disney Pixar is unclear. Peugeot, not wanting to be outdone, chose an even more bizarre moniker – Bipper. There is a third derivative with a more sensible name – the Fiat Fiorino. All three vans are made in the same factory in Turkey and represent the latest in a long line of commercial vehicles from Fiat and PSA Peugeot Citroën.

C-Crosser makes me cross

I like Citroëns. I hope that is clear from my previous posts; as well as the C6 and my current BX I have fond memories of the C5 V6 (now sadly discontinued), the Visa and the iconic 2CV. The firm has blotted its copybook with the Xsara Picasso; an absurd vehicle good for nothing.

Now Citroën are jumping on the small 4x4-cum-mpv bandwagon with the C-Crosser, the result of a joint venture between PSA and Mitsubishi. I don’t blame Citroën for making what people want to buy. What I do object to, without quite knowing why, is the cloying emphasis on how kind it is to the environment.

Maybe if there was something identifiably Citroën about the C-Crosser it would be less annoying. Something minimal, lightweight, practical and go-anywhere - like an updated 2CV - would be brilliant. Sadly I don’t think the market wants such a car. Instead it wants soft-feel plastics, MP3 player compatibility, satellite navigation, two dozen airbags and low official CO2 figures for cheap road tax.

Citroën nearly went bust making the cars people should have wanted because the world was too dumb and too cautious to appreciate them. Sometimes, when I think of the Xsara Picasso and now the C-Crosser, I wonder if I wouldn’t be happier if the firm hadn’t survived the 1970s.